you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
