he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
