I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
