i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
where does the pee come out of this thing
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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