dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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