Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize