I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
