if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
