We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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