he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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