I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
