In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
