Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
