dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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