is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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