Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
