why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize