so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
pray to the hookup gods
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
