420 ftw
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just found puke in my bra..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
