we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
