We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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