I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
