let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
