How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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