they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't put those talents on a resume
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
