can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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