I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
