I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
