I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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