I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
