Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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