capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
