Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
