My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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