Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
