she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was born a porn star she said
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize