Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
