Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You ate ashes out of my bong
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
