Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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