if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
