careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
