so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
be right there i have to get my cape
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
