If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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