At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
