he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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