I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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