HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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