How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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