my mouth tastes like poor choices
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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