I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
