coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work