It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.