I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP