then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.