I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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