girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
