I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
