It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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