So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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