Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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