please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
