Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
