tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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