dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
