I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We left the knife in your bed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize