i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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