my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize