What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
