your thong is hanging out like whoa
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize