We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
