i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
