The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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